Q: What is PAIRS?
A: PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills) is a nationally-recognized relationship training course. The PAIRS Foundation, headquartered in Florida, offers certification training for therapists across the country, who conduct local seminars and training courses using PAIRS-approved course outlines. Bill and Linda Wing of The Relationship Center of St. Louis™ are nationally-certified Master Teachers of PAIRS. They teach the course as a team. Wm. Grant Ellis and Pam Weber are currently in training to become PAIRS Master Teachers. The PAIRS Relationship Mastery Course is held in 7 weekend seminars over 5 months.
Q: What is PAIRS like?
A: PAIRS is held in a group setting, but all exercises are conducted privately between you and your partner. While you are never required to speak in front of the group or to volunteer personal information, most couples become more comfortable as the course progresses and choose to share with the group. The primary goal of the course is to educate. During the course, you will learn tools to increase intimacy and to maintain happier long-term relationships. The validation of hearing about the trials of other couples enhances the usefulness of the skills we teach in the seminar, which are basic communication skills and tips for taking better care of your relationship and your partner.
Q: Who takes the PAIRS course?
A: The PAIRS course was originally designed for couples in any stage of a relationship or marriage, but anyone is welcome. Over the years, we’ve had PAIRS groups that were as much as half individuals. In one case, we had a couple that attended the course separately in two sessions. We also encourage young people to attend the course, as it can help to form a solid basis for growing future relationships. Many older couples who have taken this course have said they wish they’d done it at a younger age, as it would have prevented some of the common pitfalls that couples face during a lifetime together. That said, even couples who have been married for 50 years or more will find PAIRS enlightening and useful.
Q: Will I have to speak in front of a group?
A: You will never be required to speak in front of the group during a PAIRS course. The exercises are conducted in pairs. If you are attending the course independently, we will partner you up with another single person or one of the instructors to do the exercises. You will, however, have the opportunity to ask questions, provide feedback, and share your successes and challenges with the group if you wish.
Q: Will PAIRS fit into a busy schedule?
A: Most of the people who attend PAIRS are very busy people, which is one reason so many couples put the relationship on the back burner. The very act of setting aside time to care for your relationship sends a positive message to your partner. The classes are held on weekends and are designed to work with busy schedules.
Q: How effective is PAIRS?
A: PAIRS training is very effective. The entire course is based on research-validated techniques that have been identified as the core elements of happy relationships. A large percentage (over 90%) of couples considering divorce have reconciled after taking PAIRS. The primary goal of the course is education, so we’ll equip you with a toolkit for better communication and greater intimacy. From there it’s up to you to implement these principles in your current and/or future relationships. We cannot guarantee results for any particular person or couple because not all couples are compatible.
Q: Where is the PAIRS course held?
A: We conduct our PAIRS seminars in the large classroom area in our office in St. Louis County.
Q: What is the cost of the PAIRS course?
A: The cost varies but is figured on a per-person, per-hour basis. If you would like more information about the details and cost of the PAIRS course, please call Bill or Linda Wing at 314-983-0070.
Q: If my partner and I are currently in couples counseling, do we need PAIRS?
A: While it is possible to glean all the information from the PAIRS seminars in individual or couples therapy, ultimately the PAIRS seminar delivers this information more quickly and affordably than a series of therapy sessions. The added impact of learning side-by-side with other couples has been shown to increase the effectiveness of PAIRS training.
Q: How do I sign up for PAIRS?
A: The PAIRS Relationship Mastery Course is offered on a periodic basis. We do not offer an online application for PAIRS. If you would like to find out when our next course will be offered and sign up, please call Bill or Linda Wing at 314-983-0070.
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